Admin note: In reviewing Pete’s excellent piece on Australia, The Movie, it came to light that perhaps some of our foreign language readers (Americans basically) may have had difficulty in understanding some of the terminology used in the article.
Australian is uniquely colourful (colorful) language. Some phrases and terms may be confusing to anyone unfamiliar with the idiom. These terms below are offered in a spirit of fostering friendliness and understanding.
“Stone The Crows!”
Crows are notoriously unfriendly and anti-social birds, especially the vicious Black-Hearted Urban Crow which will swoop down on unsuspecting passersby and steal things like shiny hair pieces, large spangly earrings, or diamond tiaras.
A wise pedestrian before setting out on shopping errands, platypus hunts or Olympic Trials, or even someone planning a leisurely gallop on the family kangaroo will a) make a careful observation of the environs, and b) upon sighting any crows lurking in nearby tree-tops, will hurl stones at them until they piss off.
This is called ‘stoning the crows’, and has a figurative use as a salutation denoting a ‘heads up’, or ‘pay attention to/prepare yourself for what comes next, as in “Stone the crows, Kev, I saw the milkman visiting your house yesterday arvo – better give the little woman a talking to/a good poke, eh?”
Note: “Poke” To fornicate as in “I got drunk and poked the missus’ sister at the party. Best party I ever went to.”
“Strike Me Pink With A Drunk Dingo.”
(Variation on “strike me pink” which is an exclamation of surprise as in: “Strike me pink, I think we are going to run out of beer!”)
(Being struck with a) Drunk Dingo: this native Australian dog is normally a tea-totaller. However, due to in-breeding, poor treatment at the hands of humans, and neglectful government policies*, some Australian dingoes have been known to tipple a bit when the opportunity arises.
Alcohol has a deleterious effect on this normally supple and affectionate animal and a drunk dingo can suffer a series of seizures, eventually becoming stiff and rigid – so stiff and rigid that you can pick the little bugger up with one hand and swing it like a cricket bat.
Combative use of a drunk dingo in an argument, domestic dispute, or a pub-brawl is frowned upon, but nevertheless practiced widely and with some frequency. A blow from a drunk dingo can be quite painful and even result in unconsciousness, especially if the recipient is already intoxicated or operating machinery like a pull tab or a bottle opener.
In rare cases, being struck with a drunk dingo can cause the victim to suddenly experience heightened awareness and remember things like where he/she left the Holden, etc.
(Note: “Holden” a widely beloved brand of motor vehicle manufactured in Australia.)
Hence this phrase has a triple meaning: the more common to suggest a blow causing a loss of consciousness, as in “By the end of me brother’s wedding I felt like I’d been struck with a drunk dingo”; a pre-existing condition similar in effect but not necessarily as a result thereof, as in “You could’ve struck me with a drunk dingo!”; or to denote surprise and sudden awareness, as in “Strike me pink with a drunk dingo – I just remembered where I left the Holden!”
*On January 1st 2007, the Prime Minister issued a formal apology to all dingoes regardless of drinking habits for volitional or non-volitional acts or omissions that might have, would have, could have or should have occurred, or any upset arising thereto or therefrom.
“Grabbed me like a Darling river croc.”
The Darling River is located in the north of the country and is noted for its population of saltwater crocodiles (crocs). The crocs themselves are noted for their predilection to consuming unwary European and Asian tourists unable to read the “Danger! Crocodiles! No Swimming!” signs. Their abiltiy to hold fast to a flailing tourist whilst dragging them under the water is a much admired trait in the Northern regions.
“like the last six tinnies from your third carton of Foster’s”
Tinnies: Cans of beer. Most commonly sold “by the slab” where “a slab” (carton) consists of 24 cans of beer.
Etiquette note: In visiting an Australian’s house for social purposes the tacitly agreed upon offering of goodwill for males would be minimally one slab of tinnies. For females any edible offering would be acceptable.
Fosters: an original brand of Australian beer produced by the Carlton United Brewery…now mostly made in China.
“(Serving like a) Barmaid with Three Arms”
Champion level barmaids (with only two arms) have been known to serve out four schooners, three middies and two brandy lime and sodas in the space of thirteen seconds, especially just before closing time.
Therefore a Three Armed Barmaid although an imaginary and mythical creature**, could and presumably would exceed that and the phrase suggests speedy, high intensity barrages of whatever is being served at the time in question, as in “The Honorable Member for Murwillumbah is serving out excuses for his dodgy electoral promises faster than a Three Armed Barmaid.”
** Daphne Lattice of the famed Woolloomooloo Drovers Rest public bar was reputed to have a third arm taped to her side but medical proof is lacking for this claim.
“Waltzing Matilda”
A traditional folk song from the pioneer days of the white settlement of Australia. It tells the story of a happy wandering person of no fixed address seeking to camp peacefully beside a backwater.
Chance would have it that at that moment a sheep wanders into the same area and the homeless person takes advantage of this situation by capturing the sheep.
At that point the oppressive capitalist pig landowner arrives with three members of the local constabulary. The oppressor demands the return of the sheep and makes excessive threats of violence and gunplay far beyond any need given the fact that the sheep is still alive and unharmed.
The happy homeless person, fearing for his life, seeks to escape by leaping into the water at which point the members of the constabulary open fire and summarily execute the man.
Two things should be noted regarding this folk song. First, it was most likely the sheep that instigated the entire debacle and secondly, Australians insist that this song be taught to primary school children as a priority.
“A Fossilized Goanna”
This is a flight of fancy by the author. No intact goanna has ever been discovered in a fossilized state but one presumes that if such a thing existed and one was hit by it, the resulting injury would be similar to running head-on into all All Black front row forward.
“Drongo”
A powerfully affectionate term used in antipodean mating rituals, as in “You are a drongo after my own heart,” or “When can I meet your drongo of a father?” or “I have been looking for a drongo like you all my life, drongo.” Should be used in moderation with an escape route well thought out before hand.
Please use the “Comments form” below if you have any further queries on this rich and colourful (colorful) language and we would be happy to oblige.
I wants to add your weblog to my blogroll please tell me what anchor ought to I use?
Anything you like! This totally a personal blog and I disregard SEO and keywords entirely here… I do enough of that on all my other stuff!
a drongo is a person who is acting stupid or is mentally retarded
Well thanks for that Colin. Now all the Americans will know exactly what we are saying… drongo.
Deftly handled reply to Colin’s post, Admin. Make sure he isn’t invited to the new year’s barbie, eh?